Flashback
by queenofhearts14
Summary: Sesshomaru has a flashback on his love for Rin and of his love for the woman in his arms. SessRinOCIn a way
1. Prologue

Disclamer: I don't known Inuyahsa or the characters (sadly). sniff

Oh Well… On With The Show!

Sesshomaru lay on the floor staring at the ceiling. His golden eyes gazed lazily at the view the glass dome on top of his grand bed gave him. The stars of the sky and the moon illuminated the room in a comforting silver glow. It blanketed the room with a warm feeling only few could succeed in giving him in life. One of the few were nestled protectively in his arms. He let her go before, he wasn't taking his chances again. Just thinking of the loss of his love brought him heartache.

A sudden movement under him had startled him from his rousings. He looked down to see his youkai wife. Andra. The moment he saw her he knew.

He knew he had to make her his.

He knew she loved him, possibly as much as he did her.

He knew that she was aware of who she was in her past life.

He knew she was his Rin.

Oh Rin. Seems like just yesterday he lost her…

Sorry it's short. I have to go out now…

Review Please!

If I get enough reviews…

I'll put in a Lemon! wiggles eyebrows

Inuyasha: Sesshomaru… in a lemon…ew….

Sesshomaru: faints in happiness

Queenofhearts14: feh. FINE! Don't appreciate true art.


	2. Flashback pt1

Disclaimer: Don't own… Wish I did though…

"Sesshoumaru-sama . . ."

Sesshoumaru peered down at the young woman his brother's miko was cradling in her arms. Even in her darkest hours, she was still showing him the utmost respect. She peered at him from the ground with a longing in her eyes that he simply could not bring himself to meet. Her sweet scent was tainted by the grotesque smell of death. Usually, he would find the smell of death appeasing, because it was synonymous to the smell of victory, when he was in battle. But this time, it wasn't his kill, and the smell made him feel sick to stomach, because he knew that he could not prevent it. His ward was dying, and though it was not by his hands, he still felt uncomfortable about his inability to save her, or to comfort her. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama" He winced as he heard her call his name for the second time. He had yet to acknowledge her. He simply couldn't. To acknowledge her, meant acknowledging the fact that she was going to leave him, and he was not sure it was a thought that he could live with, at least, not yet. She stared at him, her gaze unwavering as she searched his face. He saw her face contort in pain as she tried to take a deep breath. She clutched at her chest, her breath quickening. He looked away. '(I)Coward(/I)' the word echoed in his mind. Unable to bear the situation any longer, he turned his back, and left the room, tuning out the anguished cries of his ward.

He didn't get very far before his hanyou brother blocked his path.

"Where do you think you're going you asshole? Can't you see that she's dying, and that she needs you there with her? How can you leave her, when she needs you the most? You either get your ass back in there, or I will personally deliver your unconscious form to her," Inuyasha growled, his hand on the hilt of the Tetsusaiga.

"Hanyou, remove yourself from my presence, before I break my promise to Rin, and terminate your miserable existence," Sesshoumaru threatened through gritted teeth. His eyes flashed crimson as his youki surrounded him.

"Don't you dare use her name. Why would you care about breaking a promise to her, when you won't even stay with her in her last moments? I'm not afraid of you Sesshoumaru. If you want the last memory Rin has of you to be of you unconscious on the floor of my hut, then so be it," Inuyasha replied, pulling Tetsusaiga from its sheath. The fang automatically transformed, gleaming dangerously in the moonlight.

Sesshoumaru's poison whip lashed out at him, before he could utter another word. Inuyasha dashed to the side, avoiding the deathly whip, and lunged forward, before slicing at Sesshoumaru's head. Sesshoumaru was a step ahead of Inuyasha. He quickly drew Toukijin, and blocked the attack. The sound of metal clashing echoed throughout the surrounding area. Sparks of energy flew from the contact of the two swords.

"Humph! And you dare call me a weakling. At least I have enough courage to admit my feelings to the woman I love. You are nothing, but a coward, and a hypocrite, Sesshoumaru. You dare call father, and I, weaklings for loving a human, but you, yourself, have fallen in love with one. But you are too proud to admit it," Inuyasha yelled, as he parried, and blocked Sesshoumaru's onslaught.

"Silent hanyou! Who are you to patronize this Sesshoumaru? You are nothing, a worthless hanyou- a mistake. You are not even worthy enough to be a piece of dirt beneath my shoe." Sesshoumaru flared his youki, and pushed Toukijin against his father's fang, temporarily overpowering Inuyasha, and sending him into a nearby tree.

Inuyasha quickly got to his feet, and dusted himself off. "I pity you Sesshoumaru. I may be a hanyou, scorned by both humans and demons alike, but at least I have the love of the one woman I would give my life for. But you, you hide yourself behind a veil of coldness, and a hollow title. You may be Sesshoumaru-sama to everyone, but no one really respects you, they fear you. You have no one to back you up. No one truly cares about you, except for that girl in there, and yet you repay her by turning your back on her. Would it really hurt your pride that much to go to her? There is no one here to witness it. What are you afraid of?" Sesshoumaru charged at him with Toukijin poised to kill.

"Hanyou, do not presume to understand what this Sesshoumaru is thinking." Sesshoumaru's eyes were red, and the markings on his face were livid. He was near transformation. "Rin is mine, and what I do, or do not do with her is not of your concern. If this Sesshoumaru could control the fates, he would never have had Chichue meet your miserable mother." Sesshoumaru's poison whip lashed out, and wrapped itself around the Tetsusaiga. Sesshoumaru pulled, and the sword went flying from Inuyasha's hands.

"Oh, I get it now. You're afraid of feeling guilty for her death. You're afraid of facing the fact that the great Sesshoumaru-sama can't even save a ningen onna that he cares about. You're- oh my Kami, I don't believe this. You're terrified that you won't be able to let her go. That's it, isn't it? You're afraid of her death! You can face your own death a million times over, but you can't face the fact that she's going to die, can you? I don't-" He was cut off as Sesshoumaru's claw wrapped itself around his neck, and pinned him against the tree.

"SHUT UP! This Sesshoumaru no longer wants to hear your mindless banter. Rin is mine, and if it is her time to go, then so be it. Even this Sesshoumaru cannot control the fates," Sesshoumaru growled, digging his claws into Inuyasha's neck.

Inuyasha let out a bitter laugh, as blood trickled from his lips. "It hurts doesn't it brother? It hurts to feel so helpless doesn't it? It hurts to know that this may be the last time you see her. You can't accept it can you? Now you know what it feels like to lose a loved one. It's not a pleasant feeling is it? It hurts doesn't it? " Amber orbs locked, and glared at each other for what seemed like hours, before Sesshoumaru loosened his grip, and let Inuyasha fall in a heap at his feet.

Inuyasha watched as Sesshoumaru walked back towards the hut, his white robes fluttering in the wind. "It does." He heard Sesshoumaru utter so softly that only demon ears- or in this case hanyou ears could pick it up over the roaring wind.

Please don't kill me!

Review!


	3. Flashback pt2

Disclaimer: Don't own.

… but it is on my wish list…

He slid the door to Rin's room open to find the miko tending to her. All eyes rested on him as he stepped over the threshold into the dark room. "Sesshoumaru-sama?" He heard his ward call out to him for the third time that night.

" Rin . . ." he uttered her name softly for the first time in months. In doing so, he had finally accepted the fact that Rin was leaving him, no matter what he did. He turned to Kagome, before speaking. "Miko, leave us. This Sesshoumaru will tend to her." He could see the indecision in her eyes, before Rin placed a small hand over the miko's. Kagome smiled sadly at her, before turning to Sesshoumaru, and giving him a small nod. He waited patiently while the miko gathered her things, and left. The shouji door slid closed with a click that resounded with such finality, that Sesshoumaru had to take a minute to regain his composure. He peered around the room. There were two lanterns that lit the room. One on a small writing desk opposite the futon, and another hung to the right beside the door. Finally his gaze rested upon the lithe form that was sprawled across the futon. She reeked of illness. Her robe clung to her, and her skin was deathly pale. There was a light sheen of sweat that covered her skin. Her wet ebony tresses clung to her temples.

"Sesshoumaru-sama . . ." she murmured before trying to pull herself to a sitting position. He was immediately by her side. She clutched at his forearms as she tried to catch her breath. "Rin, be still. You are not well."

She slipped her arms around his waist, and buried her face in his chest. "It's ok, Sesshoumaru-sama. I know that I'm dying. You need not worry about me. I have died before my lord. Death is not a new experience."

He knew that she was trying to comfort him, but instead her words evoked a feeling of guilt and loss deep within him. " Rin . . . this Sesshou . . . I apologize for my inability to save you. You are my ward, yet I am unable to save you from a mere disease." He said the last two words with such bitterness, that he felt Rin squeeze his waist gently trying to comfort him.

" I know my lord has done everything in his power to save me. If the fates have decided it is my time to leave, then I shall step down gracefully. The only thing that I shall truly regret is leaving my lord," Rin whispered as she smoothly stroked the silver hair that rested upon his back.

" The fates are cruel."

" No, my lord they are not. They spared me, when my village was attacked by bandits. They sent the ookami to take my life, only to allow me to be born again by your hands. They allowed me to meet you, and to be with you, and for that I am truly grateful. I was saved by your hands, and I would gladly die now in your arms. The only thing I hope for is that my lord will keep a memory of me inside a small corner of his benevolent heart, and touch upon it from time to time, and remember his Rin. His Rin, who loved him dearly with every living fiber of her being," her voice started to crack as she uttered the last sentence.

He could now smell the tears as they rolled down her delicate face. He felt the wetness forming on his haori, but none of it mattered. All that mattered at to him at this point was having Rin in arms. He closed his arms around her, and pulled her as tightly against him as possible, without causing her any discomfort.

" Rin, tell me, do you have any unfinished business? Any unfulfilled wishes? Anything at all, name it, and it shall be done."

" Anything my lord?"

" Hai, anything Rin. Just ask, and it will be done. Anything you want, and it will be yours." He felt Rin pushing at his chest, and he released her. She pulled back, and looked up at him. He could still see the tears shining in her eyes. She brought a hand to his face, and caressed it gently, lovingly. He could see the indecision in her eyes. Whatever it was that she wished to say, would surely be her deepest desire. She smiled a small sad smile, before making up her mind, and speaking.

" The only thing that I want, my lord, is to be yours."

" Mine?" One of Sesshoumaru's elegant eyebrows arched, before he could stop himself.

" Hai, my lord. Yours."

" But Rin, you are already mine. You have been mine, since the moment you took your first breath a second time."

" No, my lord. I am not yours. Though you have claimed me in words, you have yet to claim me in person. Therefore, I am not yours."

He could see the longing in her eyes, and he knew what she was trying to say. He had known from the moment she first spoke. Actually, he had known for a long time. Since her illness had begun, she had looked at him with the same deep longing in her eyes. He knew she had wanted to be his for a long time, but until her illness had surfaced, he had never really given it any real thought. Now, it was time. He would either crush what was left of her spirit, or elate her with his decision. He was unsure which it would be.

" You wish to be mine Rin?" He questioned lightly, wanting to make sure that there was no misunderstanding between the two of them.

" Hai, my lord. I wish to be yours. If only for one night, I want to be yours, if you would allow it."

He peered down at her. There was no longer any trace of the small urchin that he had experimented with the Tensaiga upon. The years had melted away all her adolescent features, and left her a refined, and beautiful woman. His beautiful woman. He had made up his mind.

" I would allow it."

He saw her face light up with a smile as she waited for him to make the next move. This would be the first, and last time he would ever have her. He would take his time. The world could wait while he had his fill of Rin. He tenderly stroked her hair, before pulling her towards him. He leaned over, and placed a chaste kiss upon her parched lips. He felt her shiver from the soft contact. He lapped at her lips with his tongue, moistening them, before he captured them in a searing kiss. He felt her snake her arms around his neck, and locked them at the base of his head.

With a small purr resonating from his chest, he pulled her tightly against him. Chest to chest, body to body, lips to lips, heart to heart. There wasn't a sliver of space between them. He poured his soul into the kiss. Tonight, there would only be him, and her. One male, one female, celebrating the love that they shared. For this one night, nothing else would matter. 

Sniff

WAHHHHHHHH!

It's sooo sad!

Review…

… and if I have enough…

… I'll add a lemon…

Mwaahahahahaha!

queenofhearts14 grows horns


	4. Flashback pt3

Disclaimer: Mine…

Sesshomaru gives a death glare…

queenofhearts14: OR NOT!

Inuyasha: How DARE you threaten MY LOVE!

queenofhearts14 does a happy dance.

queenofhearts14: I Like To Move It Move It…

Sesshomaru: Fools

Inuyasha: Feh…

On With the Story…

Sesshomaru woke in the morning with a sudden feeling of panic. He looked down do see his Rin. Tears had filled her eyes, and spilt gently over her lashes as she looked at him. He knew that she was memorizing everything about him like he was doing to her. The way she looked, the way she smelt, and the way she felt. He etched every single feature to memory. This would be the last time that either of them would look upon the other. He knew she was already weakening. He could feel her life force waning, and slowly slipping away from her. 

A single tear slipped down her face and landed upon her lips as she uttered her last words. " Aishiteru. My lord, my love, my life, my Sesshoumaru." She closed her eyes. Feeling the pressure finally ease from her eyelids.

" Rin . . . not yet. One more minute. Koi, one more minute," Sesshoumaru whispered tenderly, knowing that Rin would surely listen to him, " I cannot let you go without hearing this. Please Rin, open your eyes. Fight it for just a little longer. Stay with me a little longer."

Never having disobeyed her lord in life, it seemed that she would not disobey him even in death. Her eyes fluttered open again as she fought the forces threatening to take her away. For him, she would hold on for a little longer. He smiled down at her as he stroked her cheek, keeping her focused on him. He had to- no, he needed to say this. He could not let her go without knowing- without understanding, what exactly she meant to him. No one else was here, what he told her now, she would take to the grave. There was no need to put on airs anymore.

" Good girl Rin. My Rin. My beautiful wife," he could see the surprise in her eyes at the title he had just given her. " Yes, Rin. You are, and forever will be my beautiful mate. You came into my life, when I least expected, and inexorably changed it. For better, or for worse, this Sesshoumaru did not know, until last night. This Sesshoumaru . . . I-I . . ." He cursed at himself mentally. His mate did not have much time left, and here he was stumbling over a few words, albeit a few important words. His mate needed to hear this. He needed to make sure that she di- that she leaved with no regrets. " Rin," He watched as she looked at him, her attention was focused intently on him. " Aishiteru. Boko no ai. There will never be another like you. This Sesshoumaru will forever keep your memory at heart Rin." He took her hand, and placed it over his heart. " You will always be here. This Sesshoumaru swears upon his Chichue's grave that he will never forget you. You won't occupy one corner of my heart, but all of it. There is no room for anyone else."

He watched as a few more tears leaked from her glassy eyes. She graced him with another brilliant smile that pulled at the strings of his heart. He saw her mouth ' good-bye', too weak to actually say it. He shook his head at that. " No, Rin. We will meet again. That I promise you." She nodded, and smiled one last time, before letting out her last breath. Her eyes closed of their own accord, as her soul fled her body.

Sesshoumaru felt the anguish and sadness seep from his heart to the rest of his body. He pulled Rin's body tightly against his, and poured all his sadness, and anger into one resounding howl, that echoed all through the night. 

Queenofhearts 14: Review please!

P.S. I have NOTHING against Rin. I just had her die so my friend could be w/ Sess… much apologies…


	5. Flashback pt 4

Heads Up: This chappie WILL be short…

Disclaimer: Don't own…

Warning: Tears ahead!

He didn't leave their room until late the next morning. He had dressed Rin in a beautiful pink kimono embroidered with white cherry blossoms. He slide the shouji door open, and carried her body outside. Inuyasha, his mate, and the rest of his friends were waiting. The miko and taijya were crying, clinging to their mates. 

They followed him back to his palace, where he buried the body of his mate in the family graveyard, beside his mother. He stood by, and watched silently as Inuyasha and his mate approached Rin's grave to show their condolences.

" Rin, loving wife, and mate of Sesshoumaru, Lord of the Western Lands," Kagome read. Both her, and Inuyasha looked at Sesshoumaru in surprise. Sure, they had both known what he and Rin had done in the privacy of their room that night, but they had never expected Sesshoumaru to acknowledge, and honour Rin this way.

Sesshoumaru looked unaffected by their questioning gaze. " That is who she is," he simply answered.

" Was," Kagome corrected, " That is who she was."

Sesshoumaru stood silently. Whether or not he heard her, he did not say a word, because he knew that he would see Rin again. It was only a matter of time. Inuyasha had found his love again. There was no reason why he wouldn't find Rin again, because after all, she was his, forever and always.

Review!

sniff

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!


	6. Epilouge

Disclaimer: Don't own…

OMG! This is the LAST CHAPTER!

Special thanks to my #1 fan!

Redroseblackribbon7eternallove

Sesshomaru had finally woken form his rousings to a gentle nudge to his side.

"Sesshy?"

Sesshomaru had looked down to the quiet inquisitor and smirked (a/n: drool). She truly was a creature to behold. Full red lips that could make a rose jealous, dark-silver colored hair, clear, gray and eyes that he found himself drawn to at every moment. Sesshomaru suddenly felt himself getting aroused. The fact that all that his wife was wearing was a very see through, silk blanket, didn't help much.

Andra could certainly feel his excitement, judging by the size of her smirk. Also what didn't help much was the fact that she had decided to take the lead. If it was possible, Sesshomaru's smirk got even wider when Andra had casually rolled on top of Sesshomaru and began kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Her naughty hands also decided to take action and Sesshomaru was glad that she was kissing him like she was because he was fairly certain he was about to die. Andra then pried her lips off of his and then began to trail her lips down his, according to her, oh-so-delectable body. Sesshomaru bit his lip to suppress his moan as she let her tongue travel down lower and lower until…

"Mooooommmmmyyyy! Daaaaaddddyyyyyyy!"

Sesshomaru let out a groan that he swallowed immediately to when he saw his daughter standing outside his door. Andra sighed and made to sit up with the blanket but squeezed Sesshomaru's hand in a promise. Andra looked to her daughter as she asked, "Yes?"

His four year-old daughter looked sheepish as she said, "Oh. Nothing."

Sesshomaru looked skeptically at the young figure with light-silver colored hair, ebony eyes and the same markings as her loved uncle when he was in demon form. It took him only a few seconds to see that she had something behind her back. A quick sniff had him drooling n the spot.

Ramen.

His annoying brother's woman must have stopped by last night. He motioned for his child, Divya to come forward.

Divya came forward and placed he tray on the fouton. The silver tray consisted of two silver bowls filled with ramen and a small glass vase with one violet in it. Sesshomaru held back a smile and raised his eyebrows at his wife. She giggled back and before Divya knew it, Sesshomaru had enveloped her in a gentle yet loving hug. Sesshomaur finally gave in and started to chuckle at the cute blush on Divya's face.

"And what do we owe to the honor of having breakfast in bed?" Andra asked.

"Um…" Divya had cutely squeezed her eyes shut and said in one breath, "Iwantedtomakeyousometingspecialforyourfifthweddinganiversary."

Andra looked at Sesshomaru in a puzzled manner before he said with an even wider smile, "She wanted to make us something special for our wedding anniversary,"

Andra looked at Divya with the utmost love and kissed her forehead and whispered, "Thankyou."

Sesshomaru followed suit and hugged his daughter with more intensity. Both parents had quickly eaten their ramen while Divya told them, "Uncle Yasha is outside right now and wants to take me out for the day… He said you needed your alone time… Can I please go?"

Sesshomaru had the right mind to say 'no' but his daughter chose that moment to make a puppy face. Sesshomaru sighed on defeat and nodded a quick 'yes'.

Divya yelped in joy and scurried out the door but not before yelling, "Happy Anniversary" and a "I love you Daddy!"

Sesshomaru smiled (again) and looked to his wife who said, "She really loves you."

"Hn." Sesshomaru responded, but the answer he got back sent erotic waves down his spine.

"She's not the only one… but unlike our daughter, who is probably a mile away from here by now… I can show you how much…"

And show him she did.

FIN

queenofhearts14: Yea! I'm finished! Hope you liked it!

Review People!


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